There are very few times during the year that family gatherings become stressing and chaotic… Christmas is definitely one of them. Shopping for all your family members, preparing dinner for an army, knowing what to buy for that picky relative who would get offended with a gift-card, setting up the table just the way mom wants it ... Xmas is the best!!!
This year my parents were the hosts to the traditional American Christmas dinner Mexican style for my entire family. For us, Mexicans, Navidad is a time to spend with family, keep century-old traditions, remember Jesus’ birth, remember old friends, dance, drink (alcoholic beverages and not) and eat; eat lots of really tasty food. But, now that we are in the US we have added the famous gift-giving tradition as well. Of all the years that I lived in Mexico City, Santa Claus never made it to my house. We knew he was a gringo and that he would never dare to cross over the Rio Grande, specially carrying all those gifts with him. And in all honesty, we did not care. We had the 3 Reyes Magos (Magi) that would come and visit us on January 6th to bring us toys. So, on our first Xmas on U.S. soil we were surprised to see what a big shot this chubby guy was here. Despite the Christmas-less ambiance that you get here in SoCal compared to Mexico City, you literally get all wrapped up on this American art of giving. While in LA you have to walk into malls to sense the Christmas spirit, in Mexico City all you have to do is step out to any main avenue or corridor to feel the Christmas spirit with decorations and lighting all over the place. Since there is not much shopping done for others (except for some work/school gift exchanges) instead in Mexico you shop for yourself. You look for the outfit that you will wear for the Christmas party … not Christmas dinner, but party. Navidad Mexican style comes with piñatas, posadas and pastorelas.
However, as globalization (and immigration) would have it, some of those Mexican traditions have crossed the border fence and made its way up North to Southern California and abroad. This past week I was part of a Christmas service at church where I helped some children memorize and practice Christmas Carols and Villancicos (traditional Xmas songs.) It was really cool seeing them perform their songs. Then, there was a posada – a re-enactment of Joseph and Mary’s search for shelter. Also a Pastorela – a play of the Nativity story. Then finally the piñata. This week I also spent some time with some friends from college I hadn't seen in quite some time. One of them is pursuing a medical degree at USC and has been pretty much living on campus. We laughed and made fun of each other as we remembered road trips, camping times and the like. That night I also headed with another friend to West Hollywood’s Rage to dance the night away. No other way to start celebrating Christmas Weekend!!!
On Friday I started and pretty much finished my Xmas Shopping. The usual spots were packed as expected. On Saturday I ran some last minute errands and finished wrapping my gifts. I headed to the gym and started writing some Xmas cards to give along with my gifts. On Sunday after attending church I helped my mom with some stuff in the kitchen. Since she has no daughters… I’m the closest thing to a female partner she’s got. – LOL Then, family started arriving, we ate, we played some music, the kids were anxious about the gifts, we laughed… we had a good time. My grandmother surprised us with Ponche (a Mexican fruit punch with real fruit)- I hadn't had one in some years. I showed my cousins how to track Santa Claus on the Internet and they were so excited. There is this site that tells you exactly when it is midnight in any country and this helps you “track” Santa via satellite. There are some sightings of Santa and some videos of journalists that make it more realistic. Man, how I just wished I were a kid again! Finally, the countdown was up and we opened our gifts. I got a jacket, one sweater, three shirts, one T-shirt, two sets of colognes, chocolates and like twenty pairs of dress socks. I was really excited about the socks… I so needed some. Santa knows what you need, indeed!!
My family left about 3:30 AM. But, they came back at around 11:00 AM for breakfast and they stayed until about 7:00 PM.
This past weekend I caught two really good movies. I watched Apocalypto and Eating Out 2. Yep, very different subjects aimed at very different crowds. Apocalypto was amazing. I really do not see what the Guatemalans were complaining about. Mel Gibson does not portray the Mayans as savages. I mean if we take into consideration the time period and the levels of violence in history, the Mayans are pretty much up there with the Romans, Alexander’s Greeks and the Spanish Inquisition. I’m sure that in a couple of years what is currently going on in Iraq’s detention camps as well as in Guantanamo will be considered by many more as despicable and barbaric. Apocalypto presented two sides of the ancient Amerindian societies in Mexico. There was this village with their own values and way of living. They pulled pranks on each other, played with their kids and had some really cool bonefires where the elders told very insightful stories to explain human nature. Then, there was this more advanced “urban” city that wanted to take over by force the land and the people of that land. Colonization at its Amerindian prime. It just reminds me of the Middle East right now. I also loved the way that Mel Gibson showed the way religion played and continues to play a significant role in people’s lives. There’s this scene where an eclipse takes place and people are afraid that the Sun-God will not come out again. Really dumb for us right now… I wonder what will future civilizations are going to think of our Evangelicals, Catholics, Muslims, Mormons, Jehovah Witnesses and the like. It’s too big of a place and too short of a life for so many god inspired writings and true ways. It was an action packed movie from beginning to end. A true achievement!
The other movie I watched was Eating Out 2. I did not see the first movie, but for what I read later on, I think I will not watch it. Everyone said that the second one was a better movie by far. I enjoyed the premise of showing a group of college students deciding to convert from gay to straight people. I’ve been on that road, so I know how frustrating it is to try and pray for a change. It was hilarious, but it brought an important message. It is almost impossible to do that. I say “almost” because I want to give people the benefit of the doubt. I love a part where a gay tells this “confused” dude that the gay life is supposed to be different. You can do whatever you want… you can reinvent yourself constantly. You do not have to be bound by the rules and norms of heterosexual people. You can seek and chose your own adventures. I found this selfish, egocentric but very interesting. I think for a long time I have battled the ideas of living a gay life the heterosexual way. Having a family…who's the wife, who's the husband? Having kids...who's the dad, who's the mom? Dating, etc... But, what this guy helped me see is that it is not supposed to be the same. It is different. It will be different. And it could be way better because of it. I mean this in a very sincere way, not in an envious tone. I sincerely think it could be better. I can choose my own adventures. I do not have to conform to the norm. This gives me a lot to think about for my New Year’s resolutions.
School is over, for this quarter at least. I passed all my classes, even the one I thought I was going to fail for sure. I will never again take four classes a week from 6 PM to 10 PM!! No way!! It has been a really nice time. I have been enjoying myself and taking time to just do nothing. Last Saturday I started my first weekend off by going to the beach: Santa Monica, CA. It might not be Malibu, but certainly it beats Long Beach. I like to just sit there and listen to the waves come and go. It is very relaxing. I wanted to do that for some time now. So, I sat there. I thought about these past months and I prayed. It felt good to ask God for some direction. It felt good to know that I’m on a really good place right now. I am content with what I have. I know that at times I wish I had more or some other stuff, but I certainly cannot complain. I must admit that the love area is not one of my strengths. It is still difficult for me to let myself go into the gay world. But, it is getting easier… we’ll see what next year brings. After some really good time at the beach I walked around Third Street Promenade. Some people consider it one of the most beautiful streets in L.A. Again, beauty is in the eyes of the beholder. To me it looks fake. It is posh and it looks really uninviting, but it is just me. I walked into a couple of stores. I had to force myself to not buy anything. I need to start thinking about other people’s gifts for this Christmas; I’ve shopped enough for myself this year. I listened to an Indy-Rock Concert and even helped a very cute lost German tourist. He was looking for a Downtown LA street in Santa Monica!! I would normally not approach any strangers. But, he looked very lost. I asked him what streets was he looking for and then we started talking. I guided him and then he started telling me the he was part of a Hockey team and they were here in LA to participate in some sort of competition. He told me it was his first time out of Europe and that he loved America. I knew I was not going to ask any deeper questions so we just ended it there after a good talk. Later that night I went out with one of my friends to catch a movie. We discussed our “sad” lives and laughed at a bunch of jokes and other dumb stuff. I appreciate hanging out with Dave. He’s always been there for me. He's not gay, but despite that small difference, we are really close. He's a true friend! On Monday I spent time with a friend I hadn’t seen in about half a year. We talk often, but we have been postponing our “coffee time” for months. We caught up with each other and he told me about his man. I’m really happy for him. It just so happens that I also know his boyfriend. It seems like this time it might work out for both of them. Then, this past Tuesday I was hanging out with another of my friends. We went to catch a movie he wanted to see. We ate pizza at a Brazilian restaurant and then we headed to the Virgin Mega Store in West Hollywood. We hadn’t hang out in a long time. He’s currently working on his Master’s and it’s been really hectic. We talked about our plans to move in together by the middle of next year. I hope it does happen. It will be fun. Finally on Wednesday I went to Rage with a classmate. He called me and asked me if I wanted to go out and dance. I immediately jumped in. We headed to a bar before actually going in to Rage. I got a “bit” drunk. I had really no idea what was going on later on in the dance floor. It was fun, though. It was my fault for not eating anything before. I only had had lunch that day. Last time this happens to me. So, school is over. Christmas is just around the corner. The weather has been crazy here in Cali. I want to spend this next couple of days with my family, sipping some hot chocolate and laughing at those memories of when I was a little boy. Oh, boy – aren’t the holidays fun?
Mexico has a new President. On December 1st, with fights, whistling and a huge display of security personnel both, Former President Vicente Fox and Newly-Elected President Felipe Calderon walked into the Legislative Palace of San Lazaro in Mexico City to have Felipe sworn in. The pitiful images were broadcasted worldwide. The ceremony was less than ten minutes long, but it was embarrassingly enough to see the kind of politicians the Mexican people have working for them. Among the special guests witnessing the chaos inside the chamber were the Prince of Asturias (Son of the King of Spain), Former U.S. President George H. Bush (Father of George W. Bush) and some other presidents and dignitaries of Latin America as well as the Governor of California. Truly an event worthy of an aspiring First World Legislation! There is much expectation on what will happen during this new “divisive” six-year term of Calderon. A lot has been happening prior to the elections of July 2nd. This is a new Republic of Mexico. A new nation that does not want to sit down and wait for results, they want results now: And understandably so. It only takes to walk a couple of blocks in downtown Mexico City to see how people survive, while it only takes to browse to some of the pages of QUIEN magazine to see how opulently the other half live. It is not being fair. It has never been fair, reason being why the vast majority of us, Mexican immigrants, now reside in other countries. It seems that these citizens of this new republic have discovered that they have a voice and they want it to be heard. Marches, protests and hot debates are now not a rarity but the norm. It seems that at last the Mexican people are interested in the affairs of their nation.
I must admit that I was not only embarrassed, but upset at the spectacle that the Mexican legislators were giving. In my very personal view the PRD (The Democratic and Revolutionary Party) lost all my respect on that day. Despite my support for Calderon on these elections, I have some shared values and goals with the leftist PRD. However, their actions proved, in my own biased opinion, to be not radical but stupid. I know the PRI and the PAN have for the most part only benefited a few people. Former President Fox tried unsuccessfully to change many things, but failed to play politics. In politics the goal of the game is to get things done (whatever good/bad/worse those things are) using the laws as obstacles that must be dodged, jumped and/or gotten around of. Unfortunately, Mr. Fox tried for the most part to play according to his own rules, a bad decision in Mexican politics.
What will happen in this coming six years? Will the Oaxaca chaos end anytime soon? Will the Narco gangs lose power in the states they now control? It is hard to tell. But, it is something we can all hope for. Maybe one day soon the NAFTA region will be as integrated and united as the European Union. Then, maybe the USA loyalty of Mexicans and Mexican Americans on this side of boarder will not be questioned. Again this is only something we can hope for. Great changes have taken place in Mexico. The Mexican people now enjoy many new freedoms. The media is no longer afraid of criticizing the President or his actions. The stock market seems strong. As of today, the Peso was gaining ground against the dollar. The infrastructure programs in El Cajon, Nayarit and Chiapas to provide huge amounts of electricity were well under way, as were the new airports and ports. In Mexico City the Trensuburbano (Urban Train) that would connect the entire Metropolitan Area of Mexico City, which has over 20 million people, will open its first phase next year. The auto-making industry in Mexico is growing and gaining grown to Detroit in the USA. The housing boom in Mexico City and other urban cities continues to grow. Tourism in Mexico is bound to expand. The beautification plans in the Historic Center of Mexico City have brought new life to Downtown. Many improvements and many changes, yet there are still many obstacles to overcome. We can only hope that the recently started mega war against the organized crime in Mexico is nothing but the beginning of great things to come for the Aztec nation. Mexicans deserve some peace and stability at last.
The most beautiful story than can be told has written the pain that produces a love that no one will understand.
Always everything hidden. Always looking back. Only the shadows can be our home where this love will grow.
And no … I don’t want any more classes of false morality ‘cause no one is guilty for loving. Inside my chest beats not reason but the most sincere and pure love.
There is no sea in the world strong enough that will be able to put out this fire. Only time can be our judge. I loved you, love you and will love you.
How difficult our love is. How beautiful at the same time. It is so tough to have to find the whys of this situation.
Our love is the island. The treasure is you... oh God, with my life I will defend this, you know it very well my love.
Friday was the annual commemoration of The International Day of Action on HIV/AIDS or AIDS World’s Day. It’s been twenty-five years since the “first” reported case of HIV/AIDS and it’s been quite an unprecedented ride. It is a very important date, at least in the gay community of Los Angeles. There are candle vigils in different parts of the county. In West Hollywood on the famous/infamous Santa Monica Boulevard you find flowers next to every single tree. Every single tree has a plate engraved with the name of someone who has passed away of an AIDS related disease. Some churches hold special services, especially the gay friendly churches. Non-profit organizations get together to remember those who have left and to raise their voice about this important social problem.
I am part of the affected group by this pandemic and this was my second December 1st Commemoration. The first one was a truly dramatic one. I could not stand the statistics, the numbers, the stories, etc. It just proved to be too much for me. This year however, I felt a lot more confident that I could handle it. I made early arrangements to attend and to be a fully supportive member of the event’s organization. But, there were issues such as final examinations and overloaded workdays that prevented me from helping as much as I wanted.
I felt very grateful to have participated on a program called Tapetes del Alma (Quilt’s from the soul.) These quilts were handmade by people infected or affected by the pandemic. It was great to see people express their own personal views of this very important issue for today’s society. It is even more important to see Latinos express their views and call our very own traditional community to be a little bit more understanding. These quilts were exhibited at the University of Southern California for two weeks before AIDS World’s Day.
During the actual AIDS World’s Day there was a very solemn ceremony, called United in Hope, that took place at Olvera Street in Downtown LA. There was a marching band playing some different tunes inside the church. There were poems read, stories shared, news and numbers given out… but most importantly hope was shared. I think hope came in the sober reality that we are not alone and that we do not have to feel alone while going through this problem. Are we ever going to get the vaccine? Are we ever going to eradicate the infections? Will the stigma ever disappear? I don’t know. But, I know for a fact that if we all stand united in hope, it is easier to see a more bright future than if we stand alone.
